Friday, January 29, 2010

Joke of the week

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reason, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should walking in the neighbourhood, but little old grandma. The young girl was shock and frantic. Sure enough, grandma notice her young granddaughter and ask curiously, "what are you line up for dear?" Not willing to let her grandma on the secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some. "Mmm, sounds lovely," said grandma. "I think i'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all the prostitutes. When he got to grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But your so old.. How do u do it?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny..i just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A simple artistic image of a women who knows how to have fun by the flowing excitement running through her as she mesmerized her journey in life. This was taken by me in a club in Australia last year.

Why do i keep doing this to myself

Coming back from skating i felt like i needed something interesting to watch, so i decided to get myself some dvd's. I'd only realise that when i was half way back to my house so it was already to late to get it anywhere near shah alam. There was only one place in mind where i could without having to turn around, somewhere near my house, but i had a feeling i shouldn't buy it there but i just cant remember why. So i said to myself why not since i was really looking forward just relaxing at home watching dvd with my lovely wife.

So there i was in front of the shop thinking of what movie i wanted to buy but still back in my head i was still worried about something, something about this shop i was infront of. But i chose to just not worry to much. Well so i proceed through the door and walk myself down towards the counter. Looking through all the new movies on their catalogue i just had realise why i had the bad feeling about this place in the first place. The last time i bought a dvd from here i got conned. They told me with full of confidence how clear it was but when i jack it up on my dvd player, well to my surprise it was actually clear. WAYANG clear. %$@^#$ jerks. So thinking of away not to be tricked again and that i was too lazy to go anywhere else, so i came up with a brilliant idea. Well actually not so brilliant, its just common sense. You ask to try it out first before you purchase it.

So after choosing the specific story for tonight and ordered it, i ask the guy if the movie is clear or not and again he said with total confidence that it was. So after a minute or two the guy came back with the goods and i ask him to test it out. He said that it was a sure deal and that he was not lying. I insisted and told him that i wish to see it first before paying. So he pop the dvd in his player and press play. Sure enough it was pretty much clear and good, even though his tv was way smaller then mine and outdated but hell, as long as its clear then i could go as quickly as i can. Paid him and left is what i did.

BLAH BLAH BLAH and i was already in front of the telly with the wifey and ready for a good movie. Got the snacks out and got the remote control and proceeded to press play. But before that my wife did ask me how sure was i that this time i bought right. I told her that this is your husband your talking about. Of course i bought the right one. 'I even tested it out' i quote. So yeah back to the story, Pop it in n press play.

Suddenly my jaw dropped off and my wife started giggling. "u tested it out huh!" Bloody hell, it was not cleared at all. It looked like the movie was made out of LEGO toys. It looked like there wasn't enough pixel. Everything looked squared. What the fcuk happened? How come it look fine when he tested it out at his shop. I saw him putting the dvd in the cover and into the plastic bag. There was no way he could have swapped it when my freaking eyes was locked onto it the entire time i was existed in his store, no way. So after having to go through hearing my wife making fun of me, she ask me to tell her everything and every single detail that went down at the dvd store.

So i told her. Everything! Then she pause and looked at me as though she knew what happened. She said "Don't u see what u did wrong? You said that he has a smaller tv then ours right? Thats why it was clearer back then. Turns out that our tv was the normal size. The dvd format burn in small pixels. So when u watch it on a bigger screen the pictures brakes off. No matter how much i want to be good at buying stuff, i can never be as good as my wife. So instead of watching it on tv we ended watching the dvd on the lap top using windows media player without having to set it on full screen. MACAM HARAMS

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Joke of the day

Three friends were about to be executed. One of them is Ikuan, Amai and Aki. The guards brings Ikuan forward for the first execution. He ask Ikuan if he has any last requests. He says no and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!" Out of no where Ikuan yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!" Everyone is startled and throw themselves on the ground while he escapes.

The guard after that brings Amai forward for his turn to be execute. The guard then again ask Amai if he has any last words. He says no and and the executioner shouts "Ready!. Aim!" Suddenly Amai screams "TORNADO!!!" Again everyone is startled and looks around for cover while he escapes.

By now the Aki has got it figured out. The guards bring him forward and the executioner ask him if he has any request or what not. With a smile he says no and the executioner shouts "Ready! Aim!" and Aki yells out "FIRE!!"..

Sunday, January 17, 2010

wasap everyone

Hey there guys and gurls. K thats sounds lame to begin with but what ever. Man its good to be back. Not that good, but i guess 'no place like home' kind of slogan for me in the back of my head. I've been missing in action haven't i?. Well that's because i went to the beautiful Bandung in Indonesia. That was one hell of a trip. This is my first trip to Indonesia and i know its not gonna be my last. Damn i just love that place. The weather is just so fantastic, there was never a time when my face gets oily. Its has that cool kind of breeze that u felt if as doe you were in a European country or what not on a sunny day. That's how i felt. Its not clean but the weather makes it up for it. And the best part is that i get to take pictures with my new camera in another country. The people there are so nice and polite. There was never a time did i see someone without a smile on their faces. There was even one that was trying to be too friendly that when i ask for the embassy's phone number, which by the way i did mention that i was from Malaysia so i assume that she understood that i wanted the Malaysian embassy phone number, she gave me the embassy club number. She was the hotel receptionist. Imagine if anything happen to me and my wife there. I don't think the embassy night club would be in any help.

kringggg kringggg kringggg

the gurl; hello
me; hi there, is this the malaysian embassy?
the gurl; ............if u wanted it to be, yeah sure, this is the embassy. how may we help u sir?
me; .......OHkay, my name is syakir and i just arrive in bandung with my wife.
the gurl; thats good news sir, so do u want to make any reservation?
me; i'm sorry, reservation for what. I call to make sure that i can count on u guyz if we
stumble upon any problem here in bandung. Because this is our first time here.
the gurl; oh..usually people call us if they wanted to have fun.
me; ?..why is that?
the gurl; because we know how to have fun. We got all kinds of drinks and our DJ is the
best in Bandung. And tonights is lady's night.
me; whaaaatt? sounds cool, but why do u make it sound like this is a club?
the gurl; I'm sorry sir, but this is a club. Embassy's club.

That was confusing, but either less, way different from my own people. From now on im going to be smiling to everyone i see. Talk about our money there. Damn our money's big there. And everything so cheap. I never bought so many cloths in one time. If u think fara would go crazy at the factory outlet there, u all should have seen me. Hell yeah. So picture time

Ar damnnn. All the other pictures are in RAW. So i guess this will do for now. Have to wait for Fara to help me out on that. We're planning to go back there again in june. This time i know what i have to do there and be more prepared. The things that bugs me or got to me is those little kids that keep following u every where u go, begging for money. Especially if they see u coming out of the factory outlets. Be prepared if ur thinking of giving loose coins to them. Because when u start giving a kid some money then other's will try to beg for u. Now, i have a soft spot for them but they never know when to stop. So the next time, i'm going to change alot of coins.

The hotels are nice over there. Even if ya planning to stay at a 3 star hotel. To me a 3star hotel there is like a 5 star here. Which is a good getaway package sort of thing for me when i really need to relax on a trip without having to feel worried on money. Yes it is that cheap there. Food wise well i'm not to sure about that. My friends said i should be cautious on their food because there the water is different from us. All my firends that went there had a food poisoning moment for them which i felt that i wouldn't want want that on my vacation. Who those? So me and the wifey decide to stick on pizza the entire time. And to that if you ever go to bandung, i recommend that u go to this pizza booth just below the anggerik hotel in jalan Riau. Right next to the entrance of the hotel. I'm telling u the food there is mighty fine, lovely and suppurb.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

my Lumix gf1

Yeszzzaaaa. I finally got my new camera and im telling u it is suppurb without a doubt. Had to work a bit extra hard to get it before the new year. So busy that i couldn't have the time to update my blog. But it was worth it for sure. Introducing my new camera..

What's not to like about it. Its beautiful in its own class. 12 megapixels, its got HD video recorder. Still manage to have that retro look that I've always wanted in a camera. Yeah i did started out by wanting something compact like the Lumix lx3 but i thought why not get something like the lumix GF1 where u can get to change your lens when ever u feel like it. So in stead of sticking to the same lens, i get to change to any lens that i need for a specific picture. Anyway my wife is using Canon so i just have to go get a Canon lens adapter for my camera, then i can share lenses with her. But for now i'll be learning using the Lumix f/1.7 pancake lens. So this have been with me everywhere i go now. Clicking here and there like no ones business. Here are the samples of pictures that i've taken with my new camera since i got it. Now there's no editing what so ever on this pictures, shit i dont even know how to use photoshop.

My mums flower again. I always had this thingy for flowers i don't know why. It sure dose attract me. And since i love purple, why not.

My wife had some preparation to do at KLCC. Thought i follow her. She's one of the crew that's doing the new year event for KLCC. And NO, that's not her up there.

Here is a picture i took without using the camera's flash. It was dark as it was already two o'clock in the morning here in KLCC. The Low Light is fantastic on the GF1.

My wife off to work the next morning. Thought i try to get a candid, but NO. She's quick as a lighting. WOMEN!

Some black and white shots seket.
Shot at one of the busies streets in Bukit Bintang (Star Walk) in KL.

Cant remember where exactly where this was in Bukit Bintang, but me and wan was just chilling at the footsteps when i decided to take a picture of the grass.

The light setups for the KLCC Twin Tower new year event.

I took this shot when i was going to the skate park along the Guthrie Highway. I was quite surprise what my camera could do. I only set it up to SILHOUETTE mode and wall-ah.

Hanging out at Janet's crib. The plants was on the table. Like i said clicking here clicking there.

Janet sebelum mandi.

There say its not the camera but its the photographer, but this time its the camera not the photographer. Its not me. But i don't care ahakx

Sunday, January 3, 2010


Damn, its been awhile since i updated my blog. It has been a hectic 2 weeks or 3 for me. Lots of wonderful things happen to me while 'me iz finishing up me 2009'. But i'll tell u about that later. What is 2009? To me as what i always do when i get into a new year is that i look back the last year and think about what i learned from it. A new year is a new year but last year is an education. What u learn from that particular year. I learn not to drink and drive. Drinking coffee while playing Grand Turismo 4 on your frens playstation 3 using the state of the art steering wheel controller is not a good thing. I'm still paying for that, Damn. I learn that if i want to do something then i should do it without hesitation. Go for it right. Like the time when i was leaving my frens house i had a feeling i wanted to go to the toilet but NO i didn't. Turns out i got stuck in an awful jam smacked in the middle of Federal Highway. Damn that was a tough moment for me, coz there was a empty bottle next to me.... Anyway, i learned that drugs are not good for you. I hated when i get the flu, but i hated more when i get the flu and i get the wrong medicine for it. That was some crazy shit there. Well anyway, what i'm really trying to say here is that I hope my readers will have a blast in this new year of ours. And by learning from your mistake last year, u will be more stronger when u fuck up in 2010, which i hope u dont. Just saying if you do then i know and i beleive u will make the right choices. So thanks to everyone who has supported me doing this awful blog, u know who u are. And to my loving wife Farra D. Ur the Best of the best. Thank you for putting up with me and my crazy ideas and perangai heheheheheh. Love u to the bones.